Sometimes, You Just Have to Let it Out.

By Not an Autism Mom 

 

As soon as I woke up this morning, I cried. No, not a glistening tear falling down my face... a full-on, ugly cry. Now, I'm not a very emotional person in general. I'm usually very even-keeled. I never think about the glass being half-full or half-empty.  I just know there's a faucet in case someone ever gets thirsty. So why, the sudden water works you ask? Well, I missed my alarm. So instead of putting my four kids on their busses, I had to pack them all in the car and take them to their schools.

I guess it seems a bit silly to cry about that. But I had my whole morning planned out. I ALWAYS have my morning planned out. Mornings are the only time I can get things done. I have a total of four hours each day to "do me." I fill those hours to the brim with working out, helping my mom, cleaning, making appointments, you get the picture. But not this morning. This morning I only had three hours. So, I cried.

I guess it still seems silly. But I'm a mom of four. And each one of my children has issues. My oldest two are suffering from a case of Teenager. Yes, both of them. And their symptoms are getting worse as the weather gets warmer (kind of like allergies, but without a pill to fix it). In case you aren't familiar, Teenager affects their listening abilities, making everyday tasks more difficult to accomplish. It also affects their moods, which in turn affects my mood. I don't wish Teenager on anyone's kids.

My youngest two, the twins, are three years old. Now they're a different breed altogether. They do what they want, when they want. When I was 34 weeks pregnant, they decided they were ready to meet everyone, so they came on out. They had a nice long stay in the NICU due to their untimely arrival. Now they have therapy everyday (yes. every. single. day.) for their various delays.

One of the twins just started talking about a year ago and mimics everything he hears. So when his sweet, young, innocent therapist was working with him the other day, he dropped his toy on the floor and yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK!" Not one of my proudest moments, but hilarious nonetheless.

My other twin doesn't talk at all yet. He gets along just fine, and is the sweetest little boy... 90% of the time. The other 10%, he just doesn't understand why I don't understand what he is trying to tell me, despite his very best efforts at telepathy. He looks at me ever so intently, and lets out a giant roar... Why am I not getting it? (I need a drink.)

So yeah, I cried when I woke up this morning. I guess I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed. But I'm okay now. I took the kids to school. I started the laundry, made some phone calls, and I can exercise at home today. Sometimes, moms just need to let it out every now and then. It's not easy raising these tiny humans. And it's not any easier when they catch Teenager. So I will try to get to bed a bit earlier tonight (yeah, right). And I'll do a better job tomorrow. Cheers to all the mommas out there doing your very best! 

 

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